Hello, Lloyd Internet! I’m back in Los Angle-eez; returned from the trek to the Midwest; recharged and ready to grab the bull by the horns. It’s good to back.

Going back to the place where I’m indirectly from can feel like a trip back in time, but without all of those pesky paradoxes and “scientific facts.” (Por ejemplo: The Earth rotates AND revolves around the sun, which is itself moving and spinning through the Milky Way Galaxy. The DeLorean would more likely reappear in the cold void of space then on a collision course with an Adult Movie Theatre or on the same railroad tracks.)

I like being away from LA and feeling like a different person in a different world, but as soon as the plane touches down the slow burning return to status quo becomes inevitable. I was getting lazy while “in between projects,” but have gotten a nice little turbo charge while away. If I go unchecked, I can slowly slip back into that state of sloth. I’m keeping the fires lit, Internet. I return to work in 10 days, and those 10 days will be action packed.

I can’t get ahead in this boat game, Internet. I wrote earlier about how the boat was fixed. Well, guess what? Broken the next day. The 10 dollar part that was replaced put extra strain on some other 10 dollar part, which instantly blew, stranding the Redhead and I in the middle of the Lake. Now that part has been replaced. So what could possibly happen now? How about a return to basics. How about the seat breaks again, bringing with it the nostalgia for the 4th of July’s issues? Ah, memories. It’s Labor Day, so the Hardware Store is closed. All I need is a couple of pieces of wood. I have one more day here, and I’ll be damned if I’m going to let this constant issue of breakage ruin my little vay-cay.

(Pictured: A horse’s ass.)

I therefore respectfully refuse to read the writing on the wall and will charge forward with gusto and fervor. The boat may sadly be in it’s autumn years, but I’m not going to let summatime end just yet.

Well, it almost happened… again. I almost experienced a living Rerun. You may recall over 4th of July I had a bit of a SNAFU with the Coronado. After months of excitement and anticipation regarding my other boat (technically, the sailboat is my “other” boat, since the Coronado has been mine since I was 16, and before then my cousin’s), it broke minutes into my first voyage of the summer. Now we’re back for Labor Day, and the same thing happened. Brother Blogs and I headed out onto the lake for the first voyage. After 20 minutes (much longer than last time) a noticeable “pop” happened, and we were dead in the water. The engine would turn over, but not fire. Typical, I thought.

Well, disaster would soon be averted thanks to my new Hero, a mustachioed gent named Troy.

Read More

We never should have left, Internet. It was a mistake, and they need us. We have to go BACK!!!

(“I’ll shave, I promise!”)

The Redhead and I have decided that we must return to Lake Geneva, WI for Labor Day Weekend. Our last trip was much too short.

Stay tuned for an ultra-exciting recap of the greatest fair ever, The Walworth County Fair! There will be pig races.

The White Sox have claimed Manny Ramirez on waivers from the Dodgers.

Point of Clarification: why?

Seriously, is there something I’m missing? I know a lot of people think this is a good move, and that it brings the White Sox the true DH they’ve been lacking this season. Still, I have to ask, why? 4 million to rent Manny Ramirez for 4 weeks when we could have had Thome all season for 1.5?

Why him? Anybody have an idea?

Holy deja vu, Internet! Things have changed, but remain the same. I am back at The Salt Mine today for a special one day engagement.

Things are similar to what I remember, but also a little different. I feel like I’ve gone back in time, but it’s also some sort of alternate universe. Did you ever see Peggy Sue Got Married? Of course you didn’t. How about the last season of Lost? No? Hmm. Inglorious Basterds?

Close enough.

We’re being inspected today, Internet. Getting the ol’ “once over” from the Landlord. Normally, this wouldn’t be a cause for trepidation, but there was a bit of a “situation” last weekend.

(We are monitoring all possible outcomes and effects of this “situation.”)

Here’s what happened: The Redhead and I were up on the roof in the hot tub, enjoying some margaritas and beers, when a couple and their kid came up, suspiciously, around 11 PM. Wait, let me back up a bit.

Read More

Afternoon, Internet. Sorry I’ve been away for awhile, but I had some things to catch up on. Some boring, run o’ the mill, domestic bull hockey, like laundry and vacuuming. I’ve also been lounging at the pool, so don’t feel too bad for me. Just filling those summer days….

(“It’s exhausting.”)

The Redhead, unfortunately, has been working like a crazy woman, which is not a stretch for her anyway and I’m very, very supportive of her. As the current “Managing Director of Domestic Duties and Sustenance” at the Chateau Blog, aka Goldeneye, aka The Bat Cave, it’s up to me as the one that’s home to keep the place spick Hispanic and span with a meal planned for the evening. I fail miserably.

Read More

Sean Connery is 80 years old today. Happy Birthday, Sean. 

I really have to tip my hat, Internet. It’s not often you see a noble and valiant effort in this day and age. When a person tries their hardest they will not fail. Well, except in this case.

(“See you in the Spring, boys.”)

It has come time for me to wave the white flag. I will not be making the Postseason in Fantasy Baseball. I have led the fans of Veeck’s Wooden Leg on for too long, teasing them with deadline trades to acquire Juan Pierre and half-price ticket Mondays. The fact is that this season has become as stale as the hotdogs my vendors sell for 6 bucks.

Read More

This story broke a few days ago, but today is the day. Lou Piniella has quit “retired” from baseball before the season has ended. Here’s the scoop. I would just like to point out that I called it. (See number 4)

That is all.

Jay Mariotti was arrested last night in Los Angeles. Read about it.

The hernia of sports, indeed. They love gutless weasels like you in lock up. Don’t drop the soap, Jay!