December 2011
26 posts
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"It was okay, we're okay. We're all okay. Okay?"
Okay…. that was a little scary. Actually, it’s one of the scariest things I’ve ever experienced, including watching the Exorcist while stoned in high school. That gave me nightmares for days. This I’ll never forget.
Fyona burped, and then Fyona was choking. Her color went from pink to red in moments, then she sneezed a big old snot ball and farted a White Castle caliber...
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Comin' Home Baby, Now.
After the slowest I’ve ever driven and more middle fingers than were needed, the Redhead and I have returned home with the baby. Only one question remains: what the hell do we do now?
There’s the obvious choice: chug a beer and give in to a few moments of panic in the closet. There’s also the more practical option of going to the store to fill Red’s prescriptions and...
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Celebrating with Strangers...
Fyona, I am your father.
(It’s not a broken wing, it’s to keep her from chewing on her IV.)
Okay, so that happened. Like most big recent events in my life, I found myself stranded in a semi-foreign land when it happened and more or less alone. Sure, this particular time I was about 4 miles from home and my wife and daughter were across the street, but in Los Angeles across the...
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Birth of a Natal II: Let's Wait Over Here Now
We have been moved to the Britney Spears Room, a nice corner LDR with a view of Jerry’s Deli and a slightly larger couch for me to try and sleep on. As of this press time, I have been awake for 32 1/2 hours and we’re not even in official “labor.” It looks like Jerry’s Deli is hopping….
It’s also dawned on me that we’re not making the Christmas...
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Birth of a Natal I: 2 People Enter, 3 People Leave
This is it. This shit is real. We are having a child. The Redhead and I cruised over to the celebrity hospital early this morning and liked it so much, we decided to stay.
Now she’s on her epidural, and I’m on some sort of chair in the corner. We could have a long wait ahead of us. It’s a good thing the Bulls are on in a few hours. On the iPad so no fancy pictures, but I will...
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Living life like a Ghostbuster.
At any given time, the bell can ring and I will be up and off to the hospital with my about to pop pregnant wife. This isn’t like waiting for the cable guy or the mail. There isn’t a time of day when I’m eventually off the hook, as I sometimes catch myself thinking. I can’t relax at 10:30 at night, figuring today’s chances have expired. I must be ready at all times.
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Sleeping and eating for a change of pace...
No baby yet. No baby, just sleep and food. Sometimes I’ll eat and then take a nap, other times I’ll wait to eat until after the nap. I mix it up.
We’re waiting; waiting and eating.
It’s awesome.
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Everything around me is tiny.
I’ve spent this early bonus week home from work getting our shit together. Baby clothes are washed and stored and the stuffed animals have been separated by their animal kingdom classifications. What kind of parent would I be if I put an invertebrate next to an elephant, or allowed a stuffed dolphin to become cozy with a bear? One who doesn’t respect the taxonomic hierarchy,...
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It's my life and my dream; nothing's going to stop...
I am home from work in “preparation” for the baby. What that has meant so far has been an inability to sleep in and downshift from my previous “work mode” pace. Normally this would translate to all sorts of cleaning and organizing at home. So far it’s been a lot of video games.
(And avoiding carpal tunnel.)
Unfortunately, it looks like I’m past the last...
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Unchained.
Today is my last day at work before going on paternity leave. I’m turning in my six shooter and going into hibernation with the wife.
Through all the craziness, it was still a pretty fun time. Sure, I got mad. I got upset, depressed, whiny, mopey, moody, bratty, and pouted a lot, but I made it. I may be back in the new year, or I may blast off to the stars. Time will tell.
The next step...
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The Sages of our Time.
While I’m at work, the Redhead often attends to some simple, day to day errands. These are simple tasks that befit her abilities as a very pregnant woman. She’s also pretty easy on the eyes, if I say so myself.
Yesterday her journeys brought her to a couple of local businesses, the Drycleaner and the Cobbler. They both saw her belly, and they both had something to say. Despite their...
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After some quick, rudimentary edits… I have...
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Smoking the iPhone indoors and saving on the cost...
In my lengthy quest to quit smoking I have tried a few different nicotine delivery methods, but most often try to force myself into submission through sheer will by going cold turkey. It hasn’t worked in the past and will most likely continue not to work long into the future.
So a friend of mine recommended the electronic cigarette. Based on the same NASA technology as a humidifier, it...
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Lessons Learned From The Spanish Knight Rider
As the Rolling Stones once said, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find (x2), you get what you need.” I was never really sure what the hell they meant, but it had a catchy melody. When it comes to things we think we “need,” we often discover that we get what’s necessary, as opposed to what will make us feel better or...
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I exist now, only in your memories... (and on the...
To those who know me (but does anybody REALLY know anybody?), I have a message to convey: It’s been a blast, but I’ve got to go now. You won’t be seeing me in person for quite some time.
It’s time for hibernation mode. The work schedule is as packed as can be, and in the remaining 8 hours of the day I’m not at work, I plan to sleep and/or hang butterflies on the...