February 2012
26 posts
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"Would you like a tape?"
Davy Jones died today at 66 years old.
Davy held a special place in the Blog family. When I was 9 years old, the Monkees played at the Walworth County Fair in Wisconsin. You couldn’t turn on Nickelodeon or Nick at Nite back then without seeing Monkees reruns, so for me, it was like the Beatles were coming. I staked out the only hotel in town, and eventually met Mickey and Peter. Davy was...
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I Suspect A Saboteur!
I have been cleaning today, in between naps and bouts of desperate longing for the return of my wife and daughter. That’s tomorrow. Today’s laundry.
(I wear a hat when I do laundry.)
The laundry facilities in my building just went through a minor overhaul (allowing less drying time for only 25 cents more!). They occasionally stop in the middle of a cycle, requiring them to be...
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Tucker Solo:
I am alone. Due to work commitments I have returned home early from Florida, leaving my baby girl and my wife with her family as they deal with a family emergency that is slowly but hopefully leveling off. They are in the capable hands of my wife’s mother, brother, and sister in law. I, on the other hand, am alone in my apartment with a whole bunch of baby stuff and nobody to hold.
I know...
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"Some achieve greatness, some have greatness...
…and others… well, they’re just great.”
When I was knee high to a grasshopper, I loved sitting on the porch in the summer watching baseball with my grandfather. He was born a Reds fan and became a Cubs fan, but the thing he liked most about the WGN broadcasts was making fun of Harry Caray. My grandpa called him, “Liver Lips.” One day during a game my...
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crazedinthekitchen asked: Sent you an email with my hints! Way too long for an ask.
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Nightmares At A Cruising Altitude Of 38,000 Feet
It’s not our first choice, nor our third or fifth or twenty-sixth, but tomorrow we’ll be flying on a plane with an 8 week old. A family emergency has forced us to face one of the worst circles of hell new parents can imagine: air travel with an infant. There was talk of leaving Fyona at home since somebody has to water the trees, but ultimately we decided she should tag along.
...
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Mastering the 45 Second Shower.
With a baby you don’t always have a lot of time for luxuries like showering, eating, or going to the bathroom. When you get the chance, you’ve got to make it count. In that spirit, I am proud to say that I have mastered the 45 second shower.
(“Are you crazy? We don’t have time to stop there!”)
I’m not talking about some sort of rinse after the gym or a...
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If I had a dollar for every post I've made, I'd...
of them. However, if I had a post for every dollar I’ve made through this blog, I would have 0 posts. So think about that.
It’s interesting that I started here to mock of friends who had started blogs. They have all since quit. Half of them even left town. Well, who’s laughing now? Ha ha HA!
They are.
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The Generation Gap starts 5 years back, and is...
I’m 32 years old. I admit that there are things in the current zeitgeist that I am not too on top of. For example, I saw what Lady Gaga looked like for the first time about 6 months ago. I DO NOT watch TMZ, nor do I read People Magazine or US Weekly. The only song by her I can name is “Poker Face.” People sing the other ones to me, and I just don’t recognize them. I am...
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It's called "Work."
I’m working at the Staples Center this weekend as a part of some sort of silly trophy ceremony and the party that follows. Today while riding down a long escalator and staring down the obscenely long hallway it lead to, I overheard a conversation between two people from a different company and division.
(Not the actual escalator.)
The first person asked the second person, “Do you...
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Smiling Outlawed At LA Beaches!
Today on Twitter, Facebook, and the rest of the digital outlets, the world went completely bonkers over a new law:
Los Angeles County has outlawed frisbees and footballs on their beaches.
People, calm yourselves. Also, read the entire ordinance. This law covers frisbees and balls that are not inflatable, including baseballs, soccerballs, rugby balls, and shot put. You can bring your bloody beach...
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The Pipes, The Pipes Are Calling.
It’s back! Kinda.
The South Side Irish Parade will once again take place in Chicago. This drastically throws my plans for March into disarray.
How long would it take me to get Fyona a fake ID? It’s been ages since I’ve had to worry about that, and the DMV keeps pictures on file now. She can’t just go and have a license made with someone else’s birth certificate...
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Fyona-FM: No Static At All
My daughter digs the old school rap.
We’ve been told to play music for her which in this house, believe me, is not a problem. Her mother is practically a walking Disney album and may actually be the real Little Mermaid. I cannot sing, but I’m a federally licensed commercial broadcaster, which means I feel entitled to steal music off the internet.
Anyway, we’ve been through a...
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Staying up all night is a little different now.
When I was 10, a few friends and I took it upon ourselves to break the sleep barrier by staying up all night. Like Chris Columbus and everybody in The Right Stuff, we would step boldly into the unknown for the sake of exploration and the betterment of mankind (But if you ask Howard Zinn, Columbus was just in it for the bucks). Armed with Pixy Stix and Jolt Cola, we fought our way towards dawn,...
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"What the hell was THAT?!"
The sounds my 6 week old daughter Fyona has made over the past few days have been described thusly:
A red colobus monkey.
The Vulture in Clash Of The Titans calling for Andromeda. (The original one. The REAL one.)
The Velociraptor in Jurassic Park calling for his buddy in the kitchen while hunting children.
Wayne Knight in Jurassic Park seeing the incubator/shaving cream can for the first...
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Baby Bottle Redemption.
After a rather long stint playing Red Dead Redemption last night while on baby duty, then hearing Bad Company’s “Bad Company” from Bad Company (the debut album) on the radio, it’s safe to say I was in a cowboy mood today. I busted into the local trophy store like a rustler. I was a little too in the mood.
So when the engraver told me that my baby bottle wasn’t...
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