Afternoon, Internet. Sorry I’ve been away for awhile, but I had some things to catch up on. Some boring, run o’ the mill, domestic bull hockey, like laundry and vacuuming. I’ve also been lounging at the pool, so don’t feel too bad for me. Just filling those summer days….

(“It’s exhausting.”)

The Redhead, unfortunately, has been working like a crazy woman, which is not a stretch for her anyway and I’m very, very supportive of her. As the current “Managing Director of Domestic Duties and Sustenance” at the Chateau Blog, aka Goldeneye, aka The Bat Cave, it’s up to me as the one that’s home to keep the place spick Hispanic and span with a meal planned for the evening. I fail miserably.

Our home isn’t that big. It’s… let’s say cozy. That means that when really focused, when really fired up, I can clean this place top to bottom in about 45 minutes. Most of it is usually just putting things where they belong anyway. Have you ever left something on a shelf or the coffee table for so long, it becomes a part of the surface in your mind’s eye? I spent three days looking for our camera charger when it was sitting next to the ashtray the whole time. It had sat there so long I now looked directly past it, nothing appearing “out of place” on a glance or even an observational stare. It’s time to shake things up.

You don’t need no bad excuse to avoid cleaning, though. In fact, I personally don’t need any excuse at all. I can just sit and stare at a plate, daring it to make me bring it to the kitchen. And what’s the plate gonna do, Internet? Nothing, that’s what. It’s entirely up to me.

Sundays we seem to be able to handle. The Redhead tends to work most weekends, but by Sunday afternoon she’s home, and we sit down with a big, rich meal to watch The Angry Guys. If the place is a mess, so be it. Sunday is God’s Day, anyway, Internet. If HE’s taking the day off, I can leave a pair of socks on the floor. (Speaking of The Angry Guys, does AMC actively hate their audience? The commercial breaks are completely jarring and seemingly dropped into the middle of scenes with a volume roughly 3 times that of the show. And who the hell uses “More to Come!” style bumpers anymore? Plus, they almost NEVER rerun the stuff. When The Sopranos had a new season coming, you couldn’t get away from reruns of the previous ones. AMC doles out a few arbitrary evenings, but God forbid they postpone another viewing of Teen Wolf for the hottest property they have.)

(The Redhead, hard at work.)

So once again, I must fight the evil tentacles of complacency that have ensnared me in this pit of dust, dirt, and darkness. I have to not only start cleaning, but getting outside. I have to start doing something.

I’m switching from the couch to a chair, for starters.

End of line.