I love Coca-cola. I mean, I love it. Name the time and place, and I will beat you in a Pepsi Challenge. I can smell an open Coca-Cola from 20 paces away, and I’m all classic, baby. No Zero, no Diet, no Cherry: the red can ALL the way (okay, I’ll occasionally add a real lemon, but I will never reach for the lemon infused fake flavored ones).

(The Redhead pours me a glass of that delicious, delicious gut rot.)

But then, there’s Pepsi. I don’t particularly hate Pepsi, because that’s just stupid. I find it fascinating that at 2 different times in Pepsi’s history it has been run by a former Coke Exec out of spite and strictly for the purpose of destroying Coke. They failed.

Now a new chapter has been opened in the Cola Wars with Pepsi Throwback. Pepsi Throwback uses real sugar instead of corn syrup. It’s uuhh-MAZING. It reminds me of the Pepsi cans I would get at Aunt Betty’s* in my youth. Coca-cola does have a sugar based option, known as “Mexican Coke” or Mexi-Coke, but they are foolishly and stubbornly refusing to sell it in ‘Merica. They say that it infringes on the distribution rights of American bottlers, and while that is a very valid point, it totally blows. You can find it, but the locations are few and far between. The market is demanding the real thing! We want our real Coke! Sure, it may rot our teeth, but corn syrup is rotting our spirit.

Step it up, Coca-Cola. I will never wander far from you, but Pepsi just scored a major victory. Mexico would like to buy the world a Coke. Let them.

*Aunt Betty’s was a candy store across from my grammar school. She was not my real aunt. In fact, I’m not sure if there ever even was a “Betty.” It later became “My Grandpa’s Store,” which threw even more questions into the “Who is Betty?” investigation.