Dear @barackobama,

I can’t make it to dinner with you. I know you’ve been after me for quite some time now, wanting to grab a bite and talk about the White Sox (Robin Ventura is a nice PR move, but it’s just too early to tell. Looks like Kenny wanted somebody he could control, amiright?), but I just have far too much going on lately. I’m shooting a flick, my wife is pregnant, it just ain’t possible.

Now you’re trying to guilt me into attending by saying you’re bringing Michelle. I know Shelly and the Redhead have oodles to talk about but again, we just have too much going on. It’s nothing personal, it’s just a bad time.

Say hi to the kids for us, enjoy your holidays, and for the love of God, STOP EMAILING ME TWICE A DAY. There are a lot of other things going on right now that may require your attention.

Sincerely,

Tucker Blogs