What a Superbowl, Internet! I didn’t sit down once during the entire game. In fact, I barely watched the screen. I’m pretty sure I saw a few commercials, like that one with Peter Stormare in the Old West and something about anal sex with Mini Coopers, but beyond that I was a roving drinking machine, barely sitting still long enough to watch a play. This lead some to the conclusion that I was “drunk.”

(My standard Superbowl attire.)

While I can’t argue with this conclusion, I find their use of the word “drunk” carries much more negativity than was needed. They meant that I was over-served, passed the point of no return, which was NOT the case, as I proved upon returning home. Being “drunk,” by what appears to be the new popular definition, means having gone too far. It’s no longer an in-between word.

And I disagree with that. 

I don’t disagree that I may have been over-served at the time, but I feel that people save the word “drunk” for the bitter end, instead assuring people that they’re just “buzzed,” or “half in the bag.” Why are people scared of the word drunk? It doesn’t have to mean falling over and puking. If someone were to get “high,” they would not reserve that word for the stage just before an overdose. They say they’re a little high, or “I’m getting high!” They don’t feel the need to deny that they are imbibing an intoxicant, particularly to those who have witnessed the entire regimen. Yet people drinking avoid the word drunk like the plague. They’re never drunk, they’re just a “little loose,” or “tipsy.”

Listen, Internet. It’s okay to say you’re drunk. It’s not that scary of a word. Believe me, if you blow a .08 on a breathalyzer, the judge will call you, “drunk,” not “barely buzzing.” Let’s embrace it.

In the future, you may continue to call me drunk, but understand that it won’t cause me to slow down or use caution as you may have intended. I celebrate “drunk.”

You should, too.