Okay, I can’t hold it in any longer. Here it is, THE BIG ANNOUNCEMENT I’ve been hinting at for a while.

Ready? Here we go…

That’s right, Internet! The Redhead is pregnant. I’m gonna be a Daddy! I’ll give you all a moment to shudder….

I’ve known for a month. It’s hard to walk around with something like that in your brain. It would have really helped to explain my erratic and unpredictable behavior to people as of late. No worries! I’m going to have a kid! How could any of the piddly minutiae I bitch about even matter when compared to such an incredibly cool event? I have created LIFE.

As they say in Krull, and as I’ve been telling the Redhead for years, “We shall rule the world, and our son shall rule the galaxy!” Or our daughter. Honestly, I could go either way. They both carry great excitement and sheer panic, so why get all worked up before we know the answer? I will say this, future child who’s no bigger than a kidney bean: if I ever have to pick you up from a Police Station, you’ll wish you’d stayed in the cell where it’s safer. Also stop reading this blog. It’s inappropriate for you.

Obviously, I have to change a lot of habits. Like my tendency to leave jagged glass and sharp knifes all over the floor? That’s gotta stop. Plus, I should probably get rid of my pet dingo. Still, there’s a lot of fun coming soon. There’s little league! And the zoo! And more!

Sleep well, little Thundercats Skywalker Blogs. Can’t want to meet you.