Hey o, Internet. I’ve been a little absent lately, I know. But hey, it’s summatime, and summatime is no like no time I know. Plus, I’ve been down in the dumps a bit.

(Pictured: the dumps. Not pictured: me, all down in them.)

But nix on that bunk! I ain’t going down for the count like some slummy street sleaze (alliteration!). I’m gonna stand on my own two feet, Internet. Well, I mean figuratively, of course. I have difficulty typing while standing, so technically I’m sitting. I assure you though, I am sitting now with good posture and my head held high.

I go through various shifts in attitude like this. I’m kind of like the tides. It’s easy to understand when you see that while I’m “in-between projects,” as we say in The Salt Industry, my life devolves into a lather/rinse/repeat cycle of lazy projects, useless chores, and movies on cable. I feel like a retiree. 

(“Well, you know… I try to keep busy. I’ve got my stories on the TV Box, and the mail comes at 2, of course.”)

There is no sanctuary. The age old argument hits you every time: “why wake up at 8:30 to do a bunch of stuff I can do at 11:30?” The nights get a little longer, and the mornings vanish. Last night I planned to go to bed before 2 am, but I’ll be damned, Boxcar Bertha was on MGM HD! That’s Scorsese’s first flick, you know, Internet. So the morning gets pushed; the ballgame starts at 5 and before you know it, the precious window on “the day” has closed. Then it’s suddenly Thursday. Shit.

What I need is motivation. I need an assignment. This accidie is eating at my soul and with nobody looking over my shoulder I shall wither like a flower and melt into the couch. I need a deadline. My best papers, projects, and accomplishments have always been created under the gun. That’s why I like TV so much more than movies. On a TV show, you’re on the air at 10 o’clock whether you’re ready or not. Movies push down the schedule like a drip of water on a window, sometimes speeding, sometimes stopping, often disappearing amidst the other droplets.

Self imposed deadlines have never worked for me, nor have deadlines imposed by people I know I can negotiate with. Deadlines from outside sources, however, work like a charm. “The water WILL be turned off at 5 PM on the 10th.” Well, that seems pretty cut and dry. I’d better address that.

Lucky for me, I’ve found a couple of outside deadlines. I have some things to actually work towards now that aren’t self-invented and therefore easily brushed aside. I’ve sorta got a new lease on life, Internet. That sounds weird, since it wasn’t really my “life” that was the issue, just a lack of things to do during it. I’m still out of work, I’m still sleeping in, but I’ve found a little something to keep me focused, and that makes all the difference. I may keep this up.

I lost a little focus, but the eye is back on the prize.

End of line.