Guess who’s coming to dinner? (any reasonable collection of syllables will suffice)
My mom is here. Here in Los Angeles. Here, as in sleeping on my couch a few feet from my daughter. My sister arrives in a few hours.
Let’s sum up: I, Tucker Blogs, Ruler of Australia, will be spending the next week in a one bedroom apartment with my mother, my wife, my sister, and my daughter.
Suddenly, the hammock on the patio looks beautiful. I opened the fridge to grab a beer, and accidentally clanked another bottle. The ripple effect caused by that sound not only woke up the baby, but alerted my mom and my baby mamma that I was drinking (and not including them). I quickly adjourned to the roof. Sometimes a man needs to get away… and given the crowd, I dare you to blame me.
The biggest issue we’re facing however, is what to call my mom. She has gone on record as hating the title, “Grandma.” My dad is ready to go as “Papa,” leaving the obvious partner title of “Nana” to my mom, but she won’t have that either. My dad’s parents were always “Nana and Papa” and my mom’s parents were always “Grandma and Grandpa,” but we pronounced it Nana (Nə-na, as in about). My mom decided after careful thought, that she would prefer Nana (Nă-na, as in and), stating that Peter Pan had a Năna, to which my sister (at a different time) immediately retorted, “yeah, the dog.” Mom later rescinded.
We don’t know what to call her. Dad is Papa, Sister is Aunty Itty (as in itty bitty Liddy), Brother is Nuncle Ned (too much to go into now), but what is to be the title of her father’s mother? Sure, Fyona’s about 18 days old, but we can’t wait for her to sound out some “mee maw goo ma” bunk, as is my mom’s plan. That’s at least 2 years away. I’m pushing Năna, since it seemed to last for awhile, and as of now, anything’s better than the current title, “Cheryl.”
Suggestions?
