What up, Internet? Exciting weekend ahead? Yeah, me neither. So far it’s been Panda Express and overcast skies. Ever have one of those days where it feels like the whole town is at some sort of meeting you weren’t invited to? I probably wouldn’t have gone had I been invited anyway. I’ve been lazy lately, living in some sort of half conceptualized state of nostalgia. I’ve been playing old video games and consuming a steady diet of classic TV shows and movies. Ah, unemployment being “in between projects.”

That’s what lead me to an early DVD morning viewing of Superman II coincidentally followed by HBO’s afternoon airing of Spider-Man 2. I have watched the same movie twice. More to the point, the Spider-Man movies stole everything from the Superman movies. Yes, this has probably been discussed before, but like I said: I’m feeling nostalgic.

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The White Castle Contest is over. The Grand Prize has gone to Mike Blogoff.

(“How ‘bout a Fresca? How ‘bout a keychain? How ‘bout a Slider Scented Candle?”)

This is his winning entry. I was shocked to find out that not only was he once married, but he’s also in reality famed Swedish Actor Peter Stormare. I’ve hung out with him many times in person, and I’m a little offended that he never even mentioned it once. You think you know a guy…

Anyway, congratulations.

Almost nothing’s gonna ever keep me down, Internet. When it comes to contests of strength, wit, strategy, and downright gettin’ the job done, very few do it better. Am I the greatest? Well, no. But I know him, and when he ain’t around there’s nobody else you’d rather have near but me. We’re gonna be just fine, little lady.

The Bearded Jew’s White Castle Burger Blog Contest is over, and I have taken 2nd Place. Tucker The Great? That may be going a little far. How about Tucker, A Great? King of the Castle? Almost. Definitely a Duke, a maybe even a Co-King or something. Those exist, right? If there’s a High King, it stands to reason that there are low Kings. I’m like a low, Vice-King of White Castle. That suits me fine. I was the Vice President of my class in Jr High, and it was great. Not much to do and you still got to leave class early. 

Congrats to whomever the winner is, which will be announced tomorrow on the Burger Blog. I would just like to say to them: I threw it. 

And at least I wasn’t 3rd place! HA HA!

If this image doesn’t make your mouth water, then you have no business clicking this link.

There’s a war coming, Internet. Soon we will all be asked to choose sides, and the only thing that’s guaranteed is that blood will be spilt. The Blog Wars are inevitable, and like a Marvel/DC crossover or that Infinite Worlds junk, it will only make sense to 4 people.

The Bearded Jew has responded to my unwarranted claims of Communism on his part. It’s a well articulated response and further points out the transparency of my original accusations. By all accounts and opinions already offered, The Bearded Jew acted admirably and democratically when dealing with my burger entry. He was right and I was wrong. 

Screw it, I’m starting a war anyway.

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Hey-o…. So I had a hangover today, and I had a burger. The burger was disappointing, so I decided to write a review about it for the Bearded Jew’s Burger Blog.

You can find that review here. Also look at this, since I think this entry needs more links.

Here’s the thing: The Bearded Jew compromised my journalistic integrity. He did NOT publish the picture I gave him to accompany the burger review! Is this Communist Russia? Are we living under a Sharia Law Society where the voice of the common man is smothered? No, Bearded Jew, we are not. I for one, will not let your questionable patriotism and utter disrespect for THE BILL OF RIGHTS destroy America. Freedom of Speech is our MOST important right as Americans, followed quickly by our freedom of beverage choice.

Well, Bearded Jew, on behalf of America’s colors, the colors that NEVER run, I present to you my original picture, and glorious, glorious, freedom after the jump.

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So I promised a light hearted blog about burgers, and once again, I can’t deliver. Fortunately, I’m able to default to the expert on this one. My buddy the bearded Jew runs a little Burger Blog over at www.burgerblogging.com. It’s delicious.

(Tucker Blogs enjoys the appetizer size.)

I like mine with lettuce and tomato, Heinz 57 and french fried potato. Add a big kosher pickle and a cold draft beer, and I’ll plagiarize Jimmy Buffett all day long.