As the Rolling Stones once said, “You can’t always get what you want, but if you try sometimes, you just might find (x2), you get what you need.” I was never really sure what the hell they meant, but it had a catchy melody. When it comes to things we think we “need,” we often discover that we get what’s necessary, as opposed to what will make us feel better or “happy.”

(Having the Rolling Stones killed may have given Burnsie temporary satisfaction on his birthday, but he would have never learned the important lesson to “live and let live.”)

For instance, when I was a little kid I got a Spanish speaking Knight Rider KITT car for Christmas.

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Merry New Year, Internet! Well, almost. It sure was a joyous holiday season for the Blog family. While this year may have dragged at points, it’s certainly closing with a bang. I was back in Chicago drinking and freezing with the family for most of it, sharing tales about gypsies from foreign lands and cousins that are pregnant (unrelated statements). I had a great time. 

It was a season to remember for a lot of reasons, but it almost wasn’t. Like most magical Holiday stories, there were unexpected twists and moments of despair, but it ends sweetly. First, some ground rules:

1. We got iPads, but the story sounds a little snobbish with that being the debated point, so another gift we got, the 1993 film Aspen Extreme will substitute.
2. Tuckerblogs.com does not discriminate against or endorse any religion or belief, so the Holiday will be referred to as Festivus.

Let’s continue, shall we?

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Hey hey, Internet. I just finished a minor barrage of outward phone calls to people trying to subtly determine their Christmas gift wishes. The one thing I’ve realized is that most people, given the spirit of the season, are frustratingly vague.

Okay, we’re all good people. Deep down, we wish for happiness unto all and peace for the Planet. We also now that while many may be in need we are taken care of, and we don’t want to come off as greedy and demanding in a season where so many can have so little.

That being said, you should still have a few $25-50 gift items in mind that you want. I appreciate that we all understand “just being together” and “spending time with loved ones” is a treasured experience for everybody involved, but unless you mention something, you’re all getting White Sox Garden Gnomes. Every last one of you.

It’s not that I’m not excited to spend time with family, but each call could have been 15 minutes shorter if we could have skipped me having to shake you down like a government witness just to hear, “some new headphones.” And STOP BUYING STUFF FOR YOURSELF IN DECEMBER. People are saying, “I got a new Bluetooth for my phone yesterday!” Great. I have to go return something now.

Merry Christmas.