Baby Bottle Redemption.

After a rather long stint playing Red Dead Redemption last night while on baby duty, then hearing Bad Company’s “Bad Company” from Bad Company (the debut album) on the radio, it’s safe to say I was in a cowboy mood today. I busted into the local trophy store like a rustler. I was a little too in the mood.

So when the engraver told me that my baby bottle wasn’t ready, I got a little too tough.

“Whaddya mean, son? We had a contract for you to engrave this bottle by Jan-yoo-ary Three-One. You mean to tell me yer spittin’ on our bargain?”

Okay, I didn’t really talk like that. What am I, delusional? Let’s pretend I did, though:

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“Who are you wearing?”

Tonight we’ll see the bright lights and brighter dreams of a genuine Hollywood Movie Premiere. While it’s not our first, it’s the first to feature one of us. Yes, the Redhead starred in a Cowboy movie, and tonight I get to see her on the big screen, shooting people.

We’re gonna walk the red carpet and party into the night on a rooftop, standard trappings for a Premiere. Tonight I play the role of supportive mate, stepping to the side when the Paparazzi interview her and spreading rumors of Oscar buzz in the men’s room. This is very important to me, because if her career takes off, I won’t have to go work at a Stuckey’s to support our kid. 

I could be the next Rita Wilson!

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