When I’m at home, I rarely eat. Food preparation involves all sorts of thinking, standing, monitoring… it’s exhausting just thinking about it, and I reject it outright. I’ll order delivery or graze endlessly until I’ve had my fill, which is usually when my stomach stops hurting. The point is, eating is often seen as an annoyance to me.

But when I’m on set, it’s a whole new ballgame. Yesterday I ate 4 different kinds of animals. I had a bacon and egg croissant sandwich for breakfast, a leg of lamb and fried chicken for lunch, and some ground beef sloppy joes around dinner. In between there was leek potato and corn chowder with homemade oyster crackers, strawberry and chocolate crepes made to order, and stacks of chips, dips, pretzels, and twists. They also had Red Vines.

Major movies cost 100 Million dollars or more to make. This is a reason. A delicious, delicious reason. As a member of the Entertainment Industry, allow me to apologize for rising ticket prices at the Box Office and the outrageous cost of Junior Mints at the concession stand.

If it’s any consolation, I heard we’re having Crab Legs tomorrow.

We’ve had a lot of visitors swing by over the past few days, and it has been wonderful. Really, truly, it has. (I find it tough to convey sincerity since I feel everything on here has a sarcastic tone, but I really was being sincere. That is now over.) However, and this is aimed at nobody specific, there are a few things I would like to point out.

For starters, please stop referring to my daughter as your baby, especially if I don’t actually know you and you work with my wife. That’s not a fun text to see on her phone.

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No baby yet. No baby, just sleep and food. Sometimes I’ll eat and then take a nap, other times I’ll wait to eat until after the nap. I mix it up.

We’re waiting; waiting and eating.

It’s awesome.