Dear Mr. President,

Dear @barackobama,

I can’t make it to dinner with you. I know you’ve been after me for quite some time now, wanting to grab a bite and talk about the White Sox (Robin Ventura is a nice PR move, but it’s just too early to tell. Looks like Kenny wanted somebody he could control, amiright?), but I just have far too much going on lately. I’m shooting a flick, my wife is pregnant, it just ain’t possible.

Now you’re trying to guilt me into attending by saying you’re bringing Michelle. I know Shelly and the Redhead have oodles to talk about but again, we just have too much going on. It’s nothing personal, it’s just a bad time.

Say hi to the kids for us, enjoy your holidays, and for the love of God, STOP EMAILING ME TWICE A DAY. There are a lot of other things going on right now that may require your attention.

Sincerely,

Tucker Blogs

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I need to eOrganize my eFiles.

So with this new phone came some new systems, and these systems are pointing out how un-eOrganized I am. I need to get my eShit together. I would normally say iShit, but this is a non-apple device (The Horror!), so I feel more comfortable saying eShit. Anyway, I need to take all of my eFiles and make them E-fficient.

(Organized Religion.)

This new phone is all about the Google. My Google is untidy. I guess speed dial went the way of the Fax machine in these new phone models, because now it’s all about dialing the name. This is where the problems arise.

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