Comin’ Home Baby, Now.

After the slowest I’ve ever driven and more middle fingers than were needed, the Redhead and I have returned home with the baby. Only one question remains: what the hell do we do now?

There’s the obvious choice: chug a beer and give in to a few moments of panic in the closet. There’s also the more practical option of going to the store to fill Red’s prescriptions and getting food for dinner, but we’ll probably end up just staring at her.

Yeah, that’s the one. There’s plenty to do, but it can all wait. We just want to look…

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I still feel foggy.

Well, the sun has returned, Internet, but I still feel cloudy and grey. It looked like rain for about 48 hours, but like most aspects of Los Angeles it failed to deliver. 2 days and not a drop. Now the sun is shining and Dallas Raines is bragging about a hot weekend. By all accounts I should be returning to a sunny disposition myself, but there’s something still lingering.

(I’ve got the boys in the lab working on a few solutions.)

I have to get out of this mold infested batcave of an apartment and see the world! Maybe we should move. I’ve always wanted to live in Dublin. I’ve been watching a lot of Doctor Who lately, so I’m experiencing my own personal British Culture Invasion. I find Ireland to be a little more tolerable than England, but maybe that’s just because of the leprechauns.

No, that seems kinda far, and blood sausage makes me gag. Maybe we should just find an apartment that has windows.

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Loose lips may sink ships, raise rent

We’re being inspected today, Internet. Getting the ol’ “once over” from the Landlord. Normally, this wouldn’t be a cause for trepidation, but there was a bit of a “situation” last weekend.

(We are monitoring all possible outcomes and effects of this “situation.”)

Here’s what happened: The Redhead and I were up on the roof in the hot tub, enjoying some margaritas and beers, when a couple and their kid came up, suspiciously, around 11 PM. Wait, let me back up a bit.

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A whole lotta water, and… Funyuns.

Look, I’m sorry for my absence, Internet, but I got a full plate. My In-Laws are here after seeing the Redhead’s Play (she kicked ass), and I’ve been busy doing the Tourist Shuffle.

(Pictured: In-Laws)

They’re good salt of the earth kind of people, and this crazy Los Angle-eez can sometimes be a little much for them. Take for instance the incident this evening: we decided to grill steaks on the roof for them and enjoy the view of the Hollywood sign and the Hustler Building. The time was spent politicking on my part to ensure them that yes, their daughter has married an upstanding man and yes, this apartment is actually a wonderful home, and we have no need to move far away just to own property. Well, then this happened:

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